Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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