Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Floor bacon is actually really good
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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