nut hugger
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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