We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
