help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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