i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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