She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
