I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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