Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
