is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
