Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
