You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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