Small penises have feelings too.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
