i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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