I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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