Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
