I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
