Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
