So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
