New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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