Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
