no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
