I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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