I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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