I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
