even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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