I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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