Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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