You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
