She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize