just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
