Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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