The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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