yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
