i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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