He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
