turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
