you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
