And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
