You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
