covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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