dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just want nice things and good sex
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
