I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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