no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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