He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
