Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
