Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
