your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize