Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you win again, gameday.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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