im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
