Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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