Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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