Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
