it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize