WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
