I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
