member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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