If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
