i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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