Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
