The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
