how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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