so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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