The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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