My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize