I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
